Q: Do we have to move on to "move on?"

I feel very Carrie Bradshaw right now but she had some good points concerning relationships and hopefully I can follow suit.

I've been thinking lately and talking to various friends about relationships, the end of relationships and figuring out how to move on. Some are convinced that the way to move on is to find someone new. To find someone who willingly takes the place of your last love. Someone who will hold you when you cry even if you never admit the fact that you are crying for your loss. Not for any other reason. Or that maybe we just need a quick fix. A one-night stand that somehow numbs the pain for the night. And then with their departure the following morning, they take the pain and confusion with them cleansing your relationship palette.

But really, is it better for us to give ourselves time? Is it better to let ourselves be sad and distraught over the loss of a love? And at what point is it still good for us to process and deal with our sadness without slipping into wallowing in our pain?

Really, I think that we should allow ourselves time to be with oneself. There's always so many things that change. Things that you learn about yourself. Behaviors you changed because of the relationship. I think we really need time to reflect. Time to see where the relationship fell short. Where each party stopped trying to make it work or maybe how to recognize when things are crumbling so that we can get out before we are in too deep. Get out before it hurts so much. I think that really we don't like allowing ourselves time to think about what we did wrong or what caused the pain.

Then there's some of us who long for someone to love and care for us. Yes, most people want to be loved and cared for but some people long for it. They seek it out and often times run into walls oblivious to the fact that they may be doing themselves more harm than good.

So really, do we have to move on to "move on?"