sleepless.

It is the middle of the night and I cannot sleep. I hate these nights. My mind is so restless but there's nothing coherent enough for me to write a story or anything that really makes any sense. I feel tired but unable to actually fall asleep. Looks like I need me some Lunesta.... ha.

I think about where I am in my life. My job. My desire for a new one. My social scene in the city I live in. And my desire to leave that. Ex-es. And my desire to not have to run into them again. And the funny thing is that it was only recently that I seem not to be able to maintain a healthy post-relationship relationship with ex-es. I think, previous to last year, I have always been on good terms with ex-es after the dreaded break up. Actually, I can think of one exception to that and we've mended our bad blood since then. But I disgress.

Right now, life is interesting. All I know is that I am not where I want to be. I am not in the job I want to be in. I am not in the relationship (or any relationship for that matter) that I want to be in. I am not geographically near my close friends. I am not being intellectually stimulated and I crave it. And yet, I have no idea how to find those things. I can move closer to friends. But it's hard to get a satisfying job in a new city. I can do it. It just takes time. I can't just pluck a relationship from a field of wildflowers. But that can wait.

I am preoccupied. I am concerned.

I miss companionship. I want a puppy. Anyone selling yorkipoos?