Stress-filled day.

I had to take my Nora to the vet this morning to get spade. As I dropped her off, I handed her to the nurse and had to immediately put my head down as the tears started to well up in my eyes. I had to sign a form telling them that I wanted them to give her pain medication. I was appalled that I even had to tell them that. I looked at the nurse with a shocked look on my face, "So wait, if I don't pay for the pain shot before surgery, you will just tear her womanly parts out without pain medication?" (Ok, I didn't say the whole tearing her parts out part.) She tells me, calmly, "We give her a traquilizer but once that wears off..." Mean woman. Cold hearted. I couldn't believe that. I mean, I guess all those hippie folks wouldn't want to give their pets pain shots because they had a stash at home so they could just get the dog high. I don't have a stash. So, of course, I'm going to get my dog pain medication. I'd kill someone if they ripped out my womanly parts and told me to suck it up. I signed for pain shot and the pain medication to go home. Now, I understand why people go to cheap spay/neutering places-- because vets pile on the bills. Each thing costs more. And more. And then you just feel like a bad pet owner when you hand the list to the nurse and you only checked two boxes. Judgmental nurses suck.

Yes, you may be wondering "umm.. I wonder if she (that she being me) really hates that nurse or if she's just trying to have some other emotion then horrible, petrified fear that her puppy's going to die?" And the answer to that question is yes. As soon as I signed the slip and handed it to the nurse (she'd already taken Nora away), I couldn't control my tears. I basically ran out of the office so she wouldn't see me cry--- ok, bawl.

I just sat in the car for a minute trying to collect myself. What if they mess up? What if they cut the wrong thing? Does he normally work on small animals? She's only 4.4 lbs. There's not much to work with there.

The nurse told me that if they didn't call me then everything went fine but that I could call if I wanted to check in. I tried to swallow the knot in my throat and somehow choked out "Don't worry. I'll call."

Still, the worst part is that I don't get Nora back until TOMORROW. What am I supposed to do? I might have to drink myself to sleep. Normally she cuddles with me and I pet her as we go to sleep. Then she wakes me up in the morning when she has to go to the bathroom. I'm going to miss her like crazy. I'll probably cry myself to sleep.