the damn dog.

I am so, so, so, so ready for this damn cockapoo dog to go home. Sophie has changed my life in a way that I do not particularly enjoy. My apartment never smelled like dog before and now, I walk in through the backdoor and I am immediately assaulted by that nasty dog smell because this dog sheds and reeks like dog. Nasty dog. Stupid dog. If stupid, idiot dog had a smell, she would fit the profile.

And here, I must clarify. I don't hate this dog. I just have no "like" feelings towards her. Not only is she stupid but I am also allergic to her. She does not have poodle hair, she has cocker spaniel fur, which I am allergic to. And for some reason, I did not think to ask about that beforehand. So now, not only do I sneeze because of her, I also don't get any sleep because of her. She whines more than any other dog I've known. Last night, I decided that I couldn't deal with her whining so I left her out of her crate. And that bitch, excuse my french, chewed the corner off my couch. The wood, that I never knew was there before, is now exposed. From now until Wednesday, I am just going to have to compromise my sleep for my sanity. Quite frankly, it pissed me off that she chewed my couch. I never had to deal with that with Nora. Nora was never big enough to get her mouth around the corner of the couch or anything else of significance. The only thing that would have been worse would be if this stupid dog chewed some of my shoes. I might just have to sacrifice her to the shoe gods. She might deserve being the sacrifical dog. Dogs should not chew shoes. Dogs that chew shoes should never, ever be bred. They will just produce more dogs that chew shoes and that, is unacceptable.

Sophie, the stupid, idiot four month old cockapoo, has been a royal pain in my ass. The only unfortunate thing is that I did not get a fixed payment for my pain. But I hope that my complaints, including the fact that she makes me sneeze and that I didn't get any sleep and the fact that she chewed and pissed and shat all over my apartment,will help me get more than 50 bucks. I've taken 50 bucks of allergy meds. I've used 50 bucks worth of paper towels and energy picking up her shit and piss. If she was a person, a man, I'd kick her ass right about now.

I need to say though that I am not going to hurt her or abuse her in anyway. I love dogs. It's just frustrating to have two mostly trained dogs (Nora, my sweet pup and Timmy, my foster dog) and then having to deal with an idiot dog that cannot control her bodily functions. I don't know if she's just never was trained or if she's just stupid. I think she's stupid just because. But I also think she's not near as trained as my Nora was at her age. I was very aware of Nora's behavior. She naturally had a great disposition but I taught her to be obedient. I taught her some tricks and may sure that she behaved well. Nora is just a smart dog.

I have concluded after this hellacious week, that I am a two dog maximum person. I can deal with two dogs but three is just too damn many. Especially when one of them is almost as smart as a hockey player that's been hit in the head one too many times.

Two dogs. Only dogs that have hair not fur. Only dogs that sleep at night not whine.

Wednesday cannot come soon enough. I might have to take off Thursday to celebrate her departure.