dreary day.

Dreary days remind me of Ohio. They remind of the days that turned into weeks of gray skies and little hope for the sun to peek through. Those gray skies didn't indicate the shift from fall to winter. It would start snowing. The snow was beautiful though. It clung to the limbs of bare trees, stacking up as though it was afraid to fall all the way to the ground. I loved the snow. A white sheet rolled over the terrain. Then after a couple of days of people walking and driving on the snow, it is dirty and slushy. I don't miss the after-snowfall.

Dreary days make me pensive. Today, I reflect upon the past. Past relationships. Past friendships. Longing to re-live the best moments of them. Past experiences. Past interactions. Moments were I thought that it might just be one of the best moments of my life. Those times when I laughed so hard that I cried. Those times when the laughter of friends fills the room. I remember times when we would play games in college. Silly games. Drinking games. Games that required more wit than we could muster. I remember laughing each other's stories. Sometimes embarassing. Sometimes drunken mishaps. Other times it'd be those stupid things that we'd said in class thinking that we knew it all. Especially after waking up late and trying to compensate for our tardiness with our intelligence.

I miss some of those conversations. I miss walking into a room and knowing everyone and them knowing you. I don't miss all of those same people knowing who you made out with last weekend... some campuses were too small. But it's the people that you remember. It's the people that you think about when everyone has moved on and continued their lives. I wish I were closer in proximity to some of those people. It'd be great to be able to hug some of their necks. To hang out and crack jokes. To just have all of those friends nearby again. It'd be interesting to relive some of those relationships and to make different decisions in them. Where would we end up then? We would know who to be mean to because we knew that in the end, they just broke your heart. You would know who to try harder with because those are the relationships that you still think about fondly and wonder what could have been. There are those friendships that have fizzled over the years--whether you were separated by water or miles or differences.