the email explaining my insanity

I don't know if I mentioned the new and third dog that I now have in my apartment....I am watching a coworkers' dog for the week while he and his family are gone on vacation. I'd offered to do so before I got Timmy, the one-eyed wonder. So I should have told them that I shouldn't keep their dog now because I already had an extra. But...I felt bad and thought to myself, I love dogs and the dog is little, how hard can it be? Of course, I quickly learned that if I thought two was a handful, three's a boatload. And here's where I diagnosed my self-proclaimed insanity. Last night was quite the event, Nora and Timmy now get along fine. They play with each other and when Timmy is tired of playing, which doesn't happen often, he growls at Nora and she backs down. They'd got their thing figured out and he's a little bit bigger than her so it's ok. Now, the introduction of Sophie, the 4 month old (or so) cockapoo. Sophie is quite hyper and bigger than both Timmy and Nora. Not too much taller than Timmy but big enough that Nora's not a fan. But Sophie hasn't really caught on to that yet. The one good thing so far is that Nora has started to stand up for herself. Timmy and her just kind of came to an agreement to not really fight each other for anything... one of them just gives in. But Sophie decided that she wanted to play and Nora wanted to be no part of that. So she made the scariest face that I've ever seen on Nora.... nose all scrunched up, teeth bared, paws out and ready to fight. She looked mean. It was like the sweet, cute Nora was replaced. Sophie finally leaves her alone but just for a bit. I have to say, Sophie doesn't seem to be the brightest dog. She must be more cocker spaniel than poodle. Poor thing. Maybe it's just that I'm spoiled by Nora. We have conversations. She tells me if my shoes don't go with my outfit. She's my girl. She's just a smart little pup. And then there's Timmy who's ready to defend me at any second. He's a loyal dog. I can tell already. Even if he only has one eye. And he's smart. He listens even if he doesn't understand.

Then there's Sophie. She's only partially house trained.. i.e. she's pooped in the house twice already... I got her last night. Can a small dog really have that much poop? Did she know that she was going to someone else's house and just save it up? Goodness. AND she's not the smartest dog in the bunch.... maybe she lacked oxygen when she was first born.... pulled a Barbara and stopped breathing, maybe lost some brain cells then. Not to say that Barbara lost brain cells... But yeah, so I put this dog in her kennel when I leave this morning. I put her in my bedroom and the other two were loose in the dinning room/kitchen/bathroom area. They tend to be good about not messing in the house. So when I get home for lunch I take Nora and Timmy out and they do their business. I get back inside and the cockapoo has pooped all in her crate. It was a decent amount of poop too. I was mind-boggled and decently disgusted cause it smelled like poop and it was smeared and spread everywhere. I took her outside and she peed. I cleaned up her crate but I'm sure she's got poop on her.... probably all rubbed in. Nasty. So, I'm going to have to bathe her tonight. It's pure insanity right now.

I just thought I'd share. It might be amusing to print this off and share it with the family. Then you'll all know about my pain. Oh, and lack of sleep. I forgot to mention that when I wanted to go to bed last night, no one else did... so I didn't sleep long or well. It's only a week.... but a week is such a long time for no sleep..... ugh.

An extra day in the week.

I just realized that today is Monday and not Tuesday. For some reason, I had in my head that today was Tuesday. And Tuesday would mean that it was that much closer to Friday. That much closer from my 48 hour separation from this computer and this cubicle. But alas, it's Monday.

Sometimes I get to thinking about my life. About the progress that i've made. About the changes in my world. About the differences between what was my reality then and what my reality is now.

Now, I work. Day in and day out. Then, I played and sometimes studied. Now, I have a puppy. (Who is still the sweetest and cutest puppy in the world) Then, I tried every means to avoid the sadness. Now, I sit and rest for fun. Then, I played rugby and searched for the next exciting thing that would almost, but never really, get me in trouble. I lived for the highs then. Now, the lows confront me. I wasn't looking for them but somehow they found me. After all, how can one be sad with all of this? I have a job. I can pay my bills and feed myself and my puppy. I have friends. I live near a beach. Still, I crave more. Not more, actually, just different. Something different.

And on a completely different note, I don't understand how puppies don't make some people happy. I have my new foster dog now. He's a poodle mix. He's a sweet dog. He's only got one eye. He was born without it. But I feel like since I've gotten the foster dog, my SO disapproves. The great thing is that he doesn't SAY anything. He just acts like they are the biggest pain in the ass. Not outrightly though. It's just a vibe I get. He wasn't supportive of me getting Nora. Why would he be supportive of me getting a foster dog? And most of my friends are convinced that I'm not going to be able to give the dog up. But I know the definition of foster. It's a non-permanent kind of thing. And really, I'm going to advertise the hell out of this little guy so that some kind soul adopts him and I can prove to everyone else that I can be a foster mom and deal with handing the dog over to the adoptive family.

I just don't appreciate people being judgemental and doubting my abilities. I can do whatever I set my mind to do. And I'm inactively supportive of his football and golf addictions. I deal with the 3-12 + hours of football or football and golf combos. He does his thing and I'm ok with that. I don't have a mindless addiction like football. I see no value in sitting for hours to watch a game. A game that affects the world in no way at all. It doesn't help starving children in Africa. It doesn't add value to peoples' lives. It doesn't put food on the table for the children. It doesn't have an emotional or mental attribute--unless, you are one who gets caught up in those sorts of things. And yes, maybe it's unfortunate or inconvienent for me to have a dog and sometimes dogs--plural. But to me, they are priceless. They are why I get out of bed every morning. They fill my world with happiness. They bounce and bark and play. They come and snuggle next to me. They fall asleep in the most awkward positions. I look forward to their pattering paws as I approach the backdoor of the apartment. Maybe, my love for dogs is silly to some. But they enrich lives. They actively enrich lives. They yawn and lick and give you that look that you would trade for the world. They love you unconditionally. All they want back is your attention and care. Whether it be unfortunate or inconvienent or both, I will have dogs in my life. They light up my world reminding me that it's not such a bad place after all.

How do non-dog lovers make it through the days?

Maniac Monday.

For some reason, I think I've used that title before. It just comes to mind on Mondays.

This past weekend was good fun for me. I went and volunteered at a couple of volunteer events taking Nora to them as bait. Everyone would come up and say, "She's so cute. I can't believe no one has taken her yet!" To which I reply: "Actually, this is my baby. But here's Getty. He's up for adoption and he's a cool pup... a bit protective but he's fond of women. And here take a flyer." It worked like magic. "Awww... MOMMY! Look how cute that puppy is! Mommy, I want a puppy!" I wonder how many parents out there hate me. But, I would rather they adopt poodles that their children fall in love with rather than some puppy mill dog or pet store dog. We take care of the dogs that come in to our group. And there's no guarantee with internet pups, store bought pups or products of puppy mills. You have no idea if they are really healthy until you get them home. And you have no idea how many of their siblings died in transport and from all the communicable diseases. And now, I'll step off my rescued dogs' soap box. *steps down*

This week should be the big week though! I'm supposed to be getting a rescued poodle to foster this week. I've only heard about him and I haven't seen him yet. He's visiting the vet today to check out his health. He's a product of backyard breeders who just let their dogs copulate until babies pop out. They are typically not registered nor do they necessarily know what they are doing. These breeders tend to end up with semi-healthy and unhealthy babies. This pup was born with defects. He is about one year old now, which in itself is a miracle. Typically, backyard breeders kill off those with defects. After all, it's harder to make money off those pups. Still, this little guy has made it this long. Supposedly, he has short legs--shorter than normal and he has one eye. I was told that he was "born with one eye." I still don't really know what that means. I mean, I hope he's not hideous or maybe I'll have the next world's ugliest dog. I don't know if he just has an empty eye socket or if he's some cyclops looking dog. Who knows. But either way, I'm excited to get my first foster dog. Although, I am a little worried about Nora liking him. She's a sweet dog but she's always by my side. And she's become more protective of me. We'll see how it goes.

Migraine Friday.

My head is pounding today. I have crazy pain on the left side of my head. It feels like there is a small person attempting to push my eyeball out of my head. Even the office light seems super bright today. And going outside in the sunlight is excruciating. I feel nauseous.

The good thing is that it's Friday and I'm going home to take pain medication.

Monday. Again.

I feel so tired today. I'm not ready for this week. I'm not ready to be sitting back in this cubicle. I can't focus at all today. I keep trying to do work and I get distracted with my thoughts. It's just one of those days. One of those days that I'd rather be at home staring at the ceiling wondering about life. I'd rather be doing anything else than sitting at work. Looking out the window and watching the world pass me by.

I feel like I am in a daze. I didn't sleep well at all last night. I kept waking up. I was worried about Nora. I couldn't seem to get comfortable. I even thought about calling in sick to work this morning. My bed was so warm. The sun peeked through the blinds warming the room. I didn't want to get out of bed at all and especially not for work. I could go to sleep right now for the rest of the day.

But I will wake up tomorrow morning and go to work and survive the week all over again. This is my life--it doesn't really matter if I want to get out of bed or not.

New toys.

I have discovered a couple of new toys/ accessories that Nora needs.

http://www.collectionsetc.com/Item76055.aspx

and http://www.collectionsetc.com/Item76062.aspx

I can't wait to invest in them.

Yes, my puppy is spoiled and I'm okay with that.