Morning time.

Morning time is the most painful part of the day for me. It takes a while to really get me motivated and in work mode. Typically, I spent nearly 50% of the morning fighting my exhaustion and very slowly getting work done. Around 11am or so, things start clicking. I'm not as tired. Or atleast I don't feel like I could pass out just as quickly sitting in my chair as I could laying on hot coals. It's quite amazing how tired I feel. Granted, it's all my fault. I'm the one who stays up until midnight or one or even later. Then I go to bed and sometimes the dogs wake me up during the night, disturbing my sleep. I just do not feel rested. Maybe I will go to bed early tonight so that I feel refreshed for tomorrow.... we'll see if that actually happens.

Somehow though, in my exhaustion, I'm still quite pensive. I think about life. I think about my life and what I could be doing with it. I think about my family and how I miss them. I have those fleeting moments that I think about moving back to that small town just to be near my family. It's a completely different world from this city. I like the city but it would be nice to be near my family and watch my siblings grow up. It's interesting how we are all expected to leave the nest after 18 years old or so, yet there's so much that we are missing. We are missing the changes in other family members lives. Still, leaving the nest doesn't have to consist of living hundreds of miles away. And once again, that was my decision.

What I don't understand though are those people who can just settle. The people who just settle for what they have. What's even worse are those people who keep telling themselves that one day they will get up off their ass and go somewhere and do something new. I know plenty of people in my hometown who have stayed there. They have stayed to help provide for their families. They have stayed because they are in their comfort zone and wouldn't know what to do if they topple out of it. Unlike, those that think they know what they would do if they toppled out of their comfort zone. But really, it's all speculation because it's not actually something that they have even tried. I need the adventure though. I need the variety. And what erks me the most are those haters--those people who tell you that you cannot have that. That life is not always full of excitement and change. And I agree. Life itself is not full of excitement. You have to create it. You have to perpetuate it. You have move above and beyond your comfort zone.

I guess, I just don't get it. I don't understand why someone would voluntarily settle for where they are instead of rocking the boat alittle and checking out what there is out there. Life is short. Shouldn't we try to cram all that we can in there?